I need to work harder.
The ONLY reason why I was not down in that arena with the rest of the competitors this weekend is because of ME.
Being a spectator this weekend was challenging for me, because I knew I let another year go by, and I only have myself to blame for it.
It’s a very hard pill to swallow – Personal Responsibility.
I could blame it on being the mother of a two year old, or being a business owner, or going through therapy, or dealing with family issues, or my shoulder injury in the fall season…
But, then I refer back to the quote, “If you want it bad enough, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.”
So, how badly did I really want it this year?
Maybe I was just infatuated with the IDEA of going to Regionals, but I really didn’t want to work hard enough for it? Or, maybe I had to work on myself first, before I was ready to really take on something like this? Maybe I needed to reach that “breaking point.”
Well…I’ve reached it.
The Regionals and Games athletes work really, really hard to be where they are. Really, really, REALLY hard!
I’ve been doing probably about 1/4 of what they do.
I’ve been thinking about this all weekend, and getting more and more upset with myself. Mad that I didn’t do more to be better prepared for the Open. Mad that I let another whole year go by. Mad that I wasn’t better.
Mad that I’m not living up to my potential.
And then…I had to finally accept the fact that I just need to work harder.
I can’t control new athletes coming out of the woodworks each year who are bad ass firebreathers. I can’t control accidents and unforeseen injuries and illnesses. I can’t control other athletes training harder.
I CAN control what I put in to it, though. I can control how hard I push myself. I can control how often I work on my weaknesses. I can control all of me.
I need to do more.
Put up or shut up!
This can apply to everything in life. I need to work harder on my patience as a mother. I need to work harder on finishing our house remodel. I need to work harder on being a better wife.
If things don’t end the way you want them to…If you aren’t getting the results you want…Then DO something about it. Change. Do more. Work harder. Dig deep. And, don’t settle.
3, 2, 1, Go! 😉