I saw this quote the other day on a friend’s Instagram, and it really hit home. It strangely lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders.
For as long as I can remember, even at the young age of maybe 4 or 5, I felt the need to confront and call people out on their wrong doing. I could never keep my mouth shut about it, could not for the life of me look the other way, and I definitely could not let it go until the wrong doer was announced in public and held accountable for his/her actions.
I grew up watching “The Brady Bunch,” and numerous other feel-good, lesson-learned type shows and movies. The good guy always won. The bad guy always lost. In the end, it was always best to be honest and fair. It was this perfect, idealistic bubble that I lived in. And…I thought that was real life growing up.
So, whenever someone cheated, lied, or was abusive or unfair in some way, whether it was directed towards me or someone I cared about, I had to pick a fight and stand up to the culprit. And, I had to make sure everyone else knew what he/she did that was so wrong.
I could never understand why others did not live by the same values and morals as I did. And, I eventually grew up angry and resentful of people.
The hard truth is ~ Sh***y people really do not care at all that they are sh***y.
All of my past confrontations ended with zero resolution and closure. Sure, I got to have my say, but I never felt like I actually “won,” and the culprit was still an a**hole.
It didn’t change anything.
So, what’s the lesson?
Let it go.
No matter where I go, no matter what I do or say, no matter how honest and awesome I am, no matter how old we get, and no matter how hard I try…People will sh** on me at one time or another.
It’s an inevitable part of human life.
People come and go. Some are good. Some are bad.
But, instead of taking on every single battle, I need to just accept the fact that this person is not purposeful in my life, and let it go.
When I get angry, I am letting that a**hole win. It’s like that quote states so well, “Holding on to a grudge is letting someone live rent free in your head.”
It’s exhausting letting all of those a**holes live rent free in my head.
It’s time for some inner peace.
I am not the Integrity Police, so I need to stop acting like one.
If someone isn’t of the same moral standards as I am, then I can remove myself from the relationship and find those that are.
I cannot change or control people. I can’t fix stupid. And, I definitely cannot get anywhere with a sociopath.
I can only change and control me.
I think all too often, a lot of us spend way too much time trying to change and control each other, which is why so many of us are frustrated, resentful, angry, and exhausted.
If we put as much energy as we do trying to change each other into actually changing ourselves, just imagine how much you would accomplish and how awesome you would be!
I am at a point in my life that I have finally decided to walk away from dysfunction. I have given up the monumental responsibility of being the Integrity Police, and I will let karma and time work things out, like they always do so beautifully.
What a huge sense of relief. For about the past week, I have truly had a clear mind. It was like I did a huge spring cleaning in my head ~ Threw out all of the garbage, re-organized, wiped and dusted, and cleared out everything that has been taking up space for far too long!
No more free rent. 😉
If you want awesome in your life, than you have to BE awesome. So, now that I’ve finished the “spring cleaning,” it’s time for me to start living by my own standards and values, and let the rest filter itself out.
Here’s to a new outlook on life, people, and myself!