Talk is Cheap & Easy

What goes around, comes around. Just don’t take it personally. Ever.

I’ve heard it before, and maybe you have, too.

It goes something like, “Anyone who willingly talks about others with you, will also gladly talk about you with others.”

Take heed, my friends.

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

And, if you enjoy talking about others with others, then please accept the consequences that follow.

All is fair in the name of gossip.

If you can’t eat what you dish out, then put down your fork and knife.

Gossip is like nicotine — That quick hit feels so good, and every inhale is a rush of sweet ecstasy. But, as we all know, that smoke is also poisonous to our bodies, just as gossip is to our souls.

And yet, we still do it.

After we finish that cigarette, we suddenly feel like shit, and need more to bring us back up. Gossip works the same way — The more you do it, the worse you feel about yourself, so you end up having to do more to get those quick, shallow hits of ecstasy.

We get addicted to talking about others. It feels good in the moment. It also allows us to hide.

When the topic is someone else, your problems get to snuggle up under a big, fuzzy blanket and nap on the couch.

We all gossip at some point. We are human.

Just be mindful of a few things:

A) WHO you gossip with (A good rule of gossip: Only say what you’d be willing to post on Facebook), because more times than not, whatever you say to someone else is being put into the game of “Telephone” elsewhere, whether you realize it or not.

B) WHY you are gossiping (Do you just need to vent about a bad boss, or are you just being a dick?)

C) WHAT you have to gain or lose from this gossip (If the person you are talking about heard what you said, would you be okay with the consequences? Is this gossip going to help you or hurt you in some way?)

D) HOW OFTEN are you gossiping? If it’s once in a blue moon, and it’s mostly to just vent to a trusted friend or family, then okay. But, if you’re doing it everyday, all day, any chance you can get, it may be time to do some serious soul-searching.

Always remember, just as you talk about others, others are talking about you.

It’s also none of your business what people say about you.

And, it doesn’t even matter.

“Talk is cheap. Words are plentiful. Deeds are precious.” ~ Ross Perot

Worrying about what others say about you is not a fuck worth giving. And, what you say about others is not worth an ounce of shit, either.

Go ahead and talk. Gossip as you will.

Just keep it in perspective.

Your words about others are just as meaningless and plentiful as anyone else’s.

A great rule of thumb I try to follow is this:

If it is true, kind, and helpful, then, and only then, is it worth saying. It has to be all three, though. The more you question yourself before speaking, the more you start to realize how much we gossip.

True. Kind. Helpful.

There’s a lot of good and love left in this world that needs to get done! 😉

Motivation is a Big, Fat Lie

I often get asked how I stay motivated to workout, eat right, and stay the course. It may come as a surprise, but I don’t actually look for and rely on motivation, because it has failed me too many times throughout my life.

Motivation is the Casanova of the Health & Fitness industry.

He seduces us with highlighted reels of sexy transformations and emotional success stories. He makes us believe that we can be anything we want overnight.

Motivation preys on our deepest insecurities, promises instant gratification and quick fixes, and then just as quickly as he has won us over, he walks out and moves on to his next target.

That’s why our motivation fluctuates so much, and we often find ourselves in a yo-yo.

Here are the harsh words you need to hear, “Motivation does not love you! Motivation does not care about you! He only serves himself!”

His only goal is to trick you into bed, or in this case, into buying the newest fitness product, fad, or service. Once you buy it, he’s done with you.

And, the sad thing is, we keep falling for his tricks, thinking that maybe this time will be different.

Motivation is a liar and a thief.

I think we are “motivational junkies.”

We love to talk about it, post about it, take pictures about it, make videos about it, share it, “Like” it, and make memes about it. Oh, the seduction and lust!

And then, when we actually start the relationship, we quickly realize that this is a lot more work than we planned for, and motivation is no where to be found.

It’s time we sit down and admit to each other that we are addicted solely to the end result, and hardly ever (if at all) consider the countless hours of hard work and consistency it actually requires to get there.

It’s time to get real.

The only way you will truly accomplish your health and fitness goals is when they become more important than your excuses, and you are ready to put in the hard work and time required.

If health and fitness are going to become a part of your life, then you need to marry dedication and consistency, and finally dump motivation.

While motivation is incredible at first dates, he’s unstable for the long-term, and far too brittle for any setbacks or obstacles.

You need to find your pain, attach it to your goal, and create a higher purpose.

Research shows that we will do far more to avoid pain than we will to gain pleasure. So, the trick is to find a pain greater than the sore muscles and lack of sweets. In order to find your pain, you need to ask yourself why at least a dozen times, if not more, and keep going until you’ve reached your hell.

Here’s an example:

I want to lose weight. Why?

Because I want to look good in a bikini. Why?

Because I hate how my stomach looks. Why?

Because it sticks out and makes me feel self-conscious. Why?

Because I care about what others think of me and how I look. Why?

Because I got picked on at school a lot growing up for being fat, and it made me insecure. Why?

Because I want people to like me and not call me fat. Why?

Because I feel lonely and depressed. WHY?

Because I do not like myself. I do not like the way I look, and I do not like the person I have become. I want friends, and I want self-confidence. I hate being home alone all the time. I hate being single and never asked out on dates. I hate the way I hate myself! I want to finally learn to love myself, take care of myself, and be who I can be, but have always been too chicken shit to do anything about it.

BOOM! And there it is – The pain!

The higher purpose.

That is the pain that is going to fuel the fire and keep the engine running, even when motivation runs out, even when your body hurts, even when your lungs burn, even when someone hands you a slice of cake, and even when setbacks and obstacles strike (because they will).

Everyone’s pain will be different. There is no right or wrong. It does require some raw honesty with yourself, though.

Sometimes, it has to get worse before it can get better.

Find YOUR pain. And, don’t let someone else tell you what it should or shouldn’t be. Not even your coach or best friend. Don’t pick something that you think others want to hear, or what would look good on Facebook. Don’t pick someone else’s pain.

It has to be yours, and yours alone.

Find your pain, and then crush your goals!