20 Year High School Reunion

My 20-Yr High School Reunion just happened this past July, and I almost didn’t go.
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I skipped the 5, 10, and 15 year.
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I assumed I would never attend any of the reunions, but as Justin Bieber always says, “Never say never!” 😜
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I hated high school.
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But, not because of them, my classmates.
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It was because of HIM… My coach. He violated every code, law, and human decency imaginable.
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And I suffered in silence. No one knew, not even my team. It was a horrible, dirty secret.
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No one knew, and yet I felt like everyone knew just by looking at me. I thought everyone could see how worthless I was. At least, that’s how I thought about myself at the time.
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I hated him. I hated myself. And therefore, I displaced my hate towards them, my classmates.
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When I say that “I hated high school,” what I really mean is, “I hated that I had to go through that all by myself. I hated that I didn’t get to have a normal high school experience. I hated that I didn’t get to have my first time be with someone I loved.”

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After many years of destruction, and then many years of reconstruction, I am in a good place. So, when I got the invite for our 20-Yr Reunion, I was genuinely excited.

It’s euphoric when you realize you have healed from something that for so long you truly believed it would define you for the rest of your life. I thought I would always be “damaged goods.” Which was why, of course, I avoided all of the reunions before.

It’s extremely intriguing how easily we displace our thoughts and feelings. For, well, 20 years, I thought that I hated high school. It took a lot of therapy and processing to realize that what I actually hated was myself.

Often, when we hate something or someone, more times than not, it’s actually something else going on internally within ourselves. So, pay attention, and call yourself out when necessary. 

You know how we always tell each other to not take it personally when someone else is a jerk to us, because you’re really not the problem?! Well, the same applies the other way around!
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So, I went to the reunion anew and I enjoyed it, and I got to re-experience my high school class in a whole new way.
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Thanks for the memories, Class of 99!!

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3 thoughts on “20 Year High School Reunion

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